Wednesday, August 29, 2007

You Can't Go Home


I didn't realize going back to Sacramento would be so emotionally exhausting. It had to be done, but I guess I had hoped for a different outcome.

Before I start whining, moaning, and bitching about that, the really bad news first. There is no new yarn to photograph. There are no new WIP's to wave around. The only yarn I got in the mail was from various sock clubs, and I don't want to be a spoiler. I will say, though, that one of the clubs sent me ShiBui, a yarn I haven't tried yet but have heard a lot about. Oh my. It's gorgeous, with a softness you have to feel to truly experience. I can't wait to get that on the needles!

Now on to yesterday.

I had to pay my pain doctor my six-month visit. It's very difficult to find a good doctor in that genre, so I make the trip instead of trying to find a new one here. After all, we've been together for ten years and have a history together, so I'm loathe to just leave him. First, he was on a conference call and tried to have some broad in the office send me out some scripts. No way, I told her. I needed to talk to him. So a few minutes later, I was escorted back and he came striding in. I have to admit that I've had the hots for him since the first time I met him - what's it like to do it with a doctor? You know... they know anatomy intimately, so it must be... ahem. I digress. So we sat down, he said, "So? You needed to talk to me?", and I promptly burst into tears.

The thing is, my meds have stopped working. They haven't worked for about two months now, and this sleeplessness thing has gotten really old. I explained what was going on, and that turned into what was going on in my life, and then I started yelling at him (I'm sorry, Dr. T!), and then I was in his arms sobbing on his shoulder (I always like that part). The upshot was that he increased my oxy and gave me a new pill to try. I took one of them this evening and was out like a light. Wow. I think I may like this new pill.

So after there, we headed over to my old salon for a mani/pedi. Yes, I know that's the new trendy way to say they're going to whack away at my hands and feet, but it's easier to type. My old gals were waiting for me with arms open. We hugged, I sat in the big vibrating chair, and entered an hour or so of pure bliss. I still have some of that fragrant oil on me.

We left there a little after 6:00 p.m. and headed for my old LYS. Now, I've been with this shop from the beginning. I was their top teacher. When I had oral surgery, the owner brought me homemade soup. I even have a key to the place. I walked in and there were a group of women at the table in back (only a few of which I knew), and the owner got up to hug me. We moved up behind the cash register and started gabbing. I was shocked at how little had changed. The stock was basically the same, all the things I had bought for the store were still there (although sort of stuffed into corners), the colors were the same - in short, it looked like I had never left. There weren't even any sweaters or projects hanging on the wall. I had tried really hard to help the owner get off on the right foot. I've told her time and again that she needs to increase her sock selection, bring in some indie dyers. She showed me her sock yarn section. I was appalled. She had gotten Wildfoote in every color they make. That was her big yarn surprise. I just looked at it and said, "Oh... uh... that's really uh... nice.". I've told her that she needs to expand her notions section and also bring in a lot more books. The selections were worse than before I had left. Now she's thinking of doing a TV commercial. There's one other yarn shop in town (who I think is barely hanging on), and I'd be all over that like a fly on a turd. But she just doesn't seem to get it. She's doing things like cruises, nursing beginners along (I had tried to get advanced classes in, but her clientele is sort of challenged - they like to make simple scarves or chemo caps - a worthy cause to be sure, but they don't allow a lot of room for growth in the knitting arena). They had a bad spring, which doesn't bode well for the rest of the year. I'm so hoping that things will turn around for her, but I don't know. I used to own a shop, so I know of what I speak. I guess she just doesn't want to listen to advice. She did do a couple of things I had suggested, but I think it's too little too late.

I think what was most troubling was when I hugged her good-bye. Right before that, I said that I had better go. She stood up, and in the voice she uses for customers who are strangers or have only bought a skein of yarn or a pack of needles, she said something like, '"Come back again and see us!" The whole thing was upsetting. I left the store without having bought a token something, which I normally would never do.

I guess the saying that you can't go home is true. It certainly was in this case. The nail parlor was fine, but then again, they're not the people I would call to go out to lunch with. Sometimes it's easier to forget those who have moved away rather than put forth an effort to keep in touch. I think that's what has happened here.

Will I go back? I don't know. We really didn't have a lot to discuss, so I think that maybe the next time I go up there, I'll drive in the opposite direction, hit the yarn shop in the town northeast of them, and do a little gambling in the Indian casino. My chances of being happy there are pretty damned good. They have a Fatburger.

Back to knitting while my sleeping pills work - then it's off to slumberland for a while, and when I wake up, into the pool for the afternoon. I don't know what to do with myself - swimming? It's supposed to hit 90 here today, so it warrants an afternoon of doing laps, then tanning in my floatie. Maybe you can go home in some respects after all.


Leah said...

I know exactly the feeling you experienced and it Really is true! I moved to Pittsburgh and then moved back home to Nashville. It took a Looong time to feel back to normal. That feeling you talk about is very disconcerting and sad. I think the most disconcerting part about it is that it is so unexpected.

You hang in there and thanks for 'friending' me..You have a very pretty smile!

Pat me on the back, I finally figured out how to post a google account comment on your blog instead of an email!

SwissKnits! said...

Awww I can relate. I'm a military kid, moving around every year or so... sometimes it's just better to move on. Though, I think that you did the right thing, you went back did your little visit and you are not obligated to do anything else.
Go to the other LYS and do some gambling... live it up! :)

Pam the Yarn Goddess said...

Good for you on the blog post, Leah! It takes me a while to figure this stuff out. Thank goodness Hubster is here to help.

Swiss, being a military kid must have been difficult. Both you and Leah are absolutely right. I wasn't expecting this to happen, and now I feel very sad and disconnected. You think you have "real" friends and a life that's firmly rooted in one spot, then it all changes. I guess I expected to be greeted with banners or something. I actually felt like they didn't even want me there - that I was yesterday's news. I won't go back. I'll go to the other yarn shop (which used to be in the Bay Area - I shopped there in my 20's, and then they moved to Rocklin - and go gamble. Maybe I'll actually win some money so I can go back to the yarn shop LOL.

Thanks for being friends, guys. And Leah... thank you for the compliment on my smile. :)

Jenn said...

It's my first visit to your blog..... I am sorry that it was so hard to go home. Next time you are in the area, you should just shop at Filati's :-)

Pam the Yarn Goddess said...

Welcome, Jenn!

Filati is the shop I was referring to that used to be in Danville. I shopped there for years and years, and then one day they were gone. I didn't know they had moved to Rocklin, which I never would have gone to unless I was on my way to Reno (Rocklin is about 2.5 hours from my house).

I love going there. They have some of the same staff, which is really nice. And they even remember me from 25 years ago. That's even nicer. It makes me feel like I haven't aged a bit LOL.

Wool Girl said...

It's definitely difficult to go back once you have moved forward, you know? You remember the life you had and all of the familiarities, yet, it's not the same. I have had that feeling before...I'm sorry you had to experience that today of all days. You certainly didn't need that after seeing your pain dr!

Hang in there, Pam! You are a wonderful person and friend, and I think that if it were your yarn shop it would be moving in such a successful way! :) It's too bad they weren't able to take any advice from those that can help.

Hope you are getting lots of sleep with the new meds. :)

Psychotic Knitter said...

I'm sorry to hear about your recent experience at your local haunt. Going back is never the same, though we always wish time didn't change.

I have family in Sacramento, and recently just visited. The newest store around is Knitique in Elk Grove. I visited the store in August and was surprised at how many people were knitting there.

They had one of the best sock yarn selections I've seen. Over a dozen Indie dyers and all the standard favorites.

Plus the staff seemed very friendly and helpful. I was treated like a regular and even was invited back on Friday night for their Knit and Nosh. Maybe next time you are in Sacramento, you should check them out.

I hope you get your meds worked out so you can sleep again, and enjoy your obsession.

Kindred Knitter