Well, my dear friends, the end of this year is drawing to a close. I felt that I should say something, one final post, before the midnight bell tolls and we're thrust into 2008. The second part of the Christmas episode can wait until tomorrow or the next day. Nobody is around to read it anyway.
This past year has brought both horrible, life-altering episodes and incredible blessings. I don't think I've had such a bad year since Grandpa died. But now, as then, life marches on, whether or not you want it to. And so I march along with it.
I've been reading everyone else's blogs full of intentions, promises, resolutions, for the coming year. The change of years has never meant anything to me. But this year is different. Why?
I've been taught what's important and what's not in a way that's never been shown to me.
Family is all-important. Having my husband still with me is the biggest blessing. I can't imagine going through the rest of my life without him, and I almost lost him. Three times. Now he's well and getting stronger every day, and our marriage is solid as a rock. I couldn't say that last year. In fact, divorce was something I came very near to, and I don't want to be in that place again.
I'll be 50 in June, and that's an enormous birthday. It marks my entry into elder status, and it also makes me realize that more than half my life is over. That's a strange feeling. When you're young, you're immortal, and 30 seems old. When you're in your 20's, 40 seems old and life stretches out forever. My 30's were filled with all sorts of horrors, but I weathered them. They also brought Hubster, which was the one big blessing I had that decade. My 40's have been both incredibly wonderful and as low as I've ever gotten. Sitting in a closet with a gun in your mouth isn't something I recommend. And now I'm facing the big 50. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but it'll be a huge blowout. I'm thinking a Harley and a trip on it to Vegas, along with getting remarried at the drive-through wedding chapel. But who knows?
One of the biggest blessings and privileges has been this blog, getting to know many of you on a more personal level, and being allowed to share my life with you. I'll continue to do so in 2008.
I'm opening the shop on time, it looks like, or at least pretty damned close. The website is almost finished, and I'll open it up to you all as soon as Hubster puts the finishing touches on it. It'll be devoid of merchandise, but at least you'll get to see it before the grand opening.
Do I have any resolutions? No. I won't keep them anyway, so they're just empty words. I'll just struggle along, live, love, cry, work hard, and do all the things I normally do, but with a little more commitment, a little more passion, a little more.
And so, dear friends, I bid you a Happy New Year, a safe evening, and a new year to come that I hope will be memorable for you in a good way. Hold those whom you love close to you. Be good to yourselves. Don't worry about losing weight - be happy and love yourself for who you are. Life is far too short to always be fighting against yourself.
And with that, off I go to knit on my swap socks, smoke the last ciggies of the year, and drool all over myself.
Just like usual.