Friday, October 12, 2007

Why The Hell Would You Want A Cell Phone?

Ah yes, dear readers. Another title that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Yet.

First of all, though, the YFIT brought me some yarny goodness yesterday and today. The Hubster knew about most of it. The rest of it was from uh... yarn clubs. Yeah. Actually, one of the skeins was indeed from a yarn club and was Dream in Color Smooshy. As always, I won't take a picture of it until everyone has received their offerings. I may be a raving harpy bitch, but I'm not a spoiler.

Now for the yarny goodness you CAN see.

This first set contains yarns and needles that are new to me. Beginning with the needles, I finally decided that I needed a set of DPN's. I didn't make this decision lightly; I hate the damn things, but I'm getting more and more patterns for socks that use the little fuckers. So I did some research (I hate the Addi Naturas I've been using - the stitches drag), and settled on these. They're from Susan's Spinning Bunny; following is the description of them in her own words:

"Our wooden needles are made from the Surina tree, which is grown on plantations in the Sundarban area of India. Known as the "Elegant Tree", they are tall and very straight with thin branches producing a hard but lightweight wood suitable for fine woodworking.

Highly skilled artisans hand turn this raw material into exceptional knitting needles that are super smooth and lustrous, show a lovely pink grain and are stamped with both metric and US sizing.

No harmful chemicals or agents are used in the making of these beautiful needles.

Just south of Calcutta, Sunderban is one of the most unique ecosystems in this part of the world. Situated at the mouth of the Ganges, Sunderban spreads over 54 islands and two countries (India's West Bengal and Bangladesh) and is part of the world's largest delta region. It is one of the last preserves of the Bengal tiger and the site of a tiger preservation project."

You can buy them singly or in sets. I bought the 7" set in an olive case. The price was extremely reasonable, and Susan was kind enough to give me a size 1.5 instead of a 7. I would never use a 7; I don't even use them with circulars. There are also straights and crochet hooks. The wood is wonderful; it's beautifully figured and colored, and it's also very slick. I have high hopes for them. After I've cast on my next pair, I'll give you a review of them. I can't very well write about them until I've actually used them.

The yarns, as I said, are also new. The yarn in the front is also from Susan's Spinning Bunny. It's a 50/50 Superwash Merino/Tencel blend and is called "Autumn Sunset"; she dyes the fiber herself. I rarely, if ever, buy a Tencel blend. I just don't like it. But this one may change my mind. I'll be writing a review of this and three other yarns which you'll see pictures of in this post, so please go over to my review page (Yarn Goddess Yarn Review - the link is in the post before this one) to read up on all of them. To the left is a gorgeous yarn by Drooling Over Yarn in "Witch Hazel Flies by the Seat of Her Pants". This one is 100% Merino in Aztec gold, purple, and burgundy. The yarn to the right (the one in the cake) is by Stone & String in "Cleverly Koi". This one is 100% Superwash Merino. The colors didn't come out very well because they're light, but it's salmon and grey. This seller goes by "bellababe519". Both she and Drooling are on Etsy.

This picture, starting with the skein nearest you, has Scarlet Fleece in "Antique Watermelon" and "Poodle Skirt", followed by The Knittery in "Coral Reef". I've got skeins from both these dyers; they're incredibly soft with vivid colors.

I know none of you can wait to hear why I titled this post what I did. Wait no more. Here are the gory details.

Of course, the phone call I really wanted didn't come today. I called the chaplain at Folsom Prison to ask a question about Monday's class (I can't believe it's almost here!), but he wasn't in his office. I left a message and paged him, but he must have been awfully busy (read: left for the weekend). I did get two other phone calls, though.

The first was from a lady whom I met at my LYS. We were sitting at the table waiting for our respective yarns to be wound and got to talking. It turns out she was looking for a teacher so she could learn how to do two socks on two circulars. I was her woman, so I opened my big mouth and told her where I taught. She said she would call in a few weeks and find out when the class was. As you all know, I sent a nastygram to the shop owner and essentially quit. So when she called, I told her I could teach her one on one and arranged to go into Oakland (on BART... at night... alone... armed only with very sharp embroidery scissors and knitting needles) to meet with her at the hotel the TKGA conference was held at. She works right up the street from the hotel and BART is five minutes from my house, letting out right across the street from the hotel, so it worked out well for both of us. I figured we could sit in the lounge, have a few drinky-poos (read: get shitfaced), and I could teach her the same class I was teaching in the Pit of Hell and get it accomplished in a couple of sessions. That call was pretty good - it didn't ruffle my feathers any.

It was the second call that was like an avenging angel from the Pit of Hell coming back to remind me that I'm only a seven-digit number (plus area code) away. Hence, the title of the post. Why would you want more ways to allow people to have access to you?

You guessed it.


"Is this PaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmMMMMMMMMMM?"

Oh shit.

"Uh, I think so. Who's this?"

"Is there some reason why I can't use quiviut for my socks?"

"Uh... well... if you want to use a fiber even more expensive than buffalo and fuck that one up, too, then I guess not."

(I'm reaching for the oxycontin at this point.)

She begins to ramble on about how she won't dork this one up because she read the book and knows where she went wrong and she's sure she can do it right this time and she's going to alternate the quivy with merino to make the skein go farther and is going to design her own cable/lace monstrosity... uh... design and she remeasured her feet by standing on the ruler and peering over her boobs (she thinks a lot of her fun bags) and lo and behold the measurement was different so this one must be right and she's going to use a size 0 this time instead of a 000 and... and.. and...

I've just popped two Oxys and have the bottle ready in case I need a booster.

Hubster is standing in the background waving madly at me and mouthing something to the effect of, "Do you want me to yell something to get you off the phone?".

I'm too polite to have him just hang up the damn thing (oh, how I miss the days when you had a thingie on the part that hung on the wall that you could just depress to hang up on someone), so I continued on with the conversation. Then it hit me.

"I really can't help you anymore because I don't work there. I quit. If you need help, you'll have to talk to the owner."


"Well, why didn't you tell me that in the first place?"


My ear is still ringing. But I'm smiling. :)

1 comment:

Yarnbeans said...

Well, telling her to call the owner for advice is definitely the best revenge!