Oh boy. Am I ever in trouble with Hubster.
Before I launch into that and today's amusing story, I only got one skein of yarn today that I could photograph. The others, as usual, are club offerings. The yarns in the pictures are from Wooly Wonka Fibers, Oldfield Creek Sock & Yarn, Smoky Mountain Fibers, Union Center Knits, Spindle Cats Studio, Maple Hill (the skein in the front in the second picture -that's the new one), Perchance to Knit, and Wild Meadows Yarn. These are from one of the original stash bins, but as I told you all earlier, I was going to have to begin raiding my stash to show you pictures. It's sort of like opening Christmas presents. I totally forgot about a lot of these beauties! Enjoy!
Hubster was sitting at the computer last night working on something. He had his headphones on, which is my signal that he's involved in something that requires his attention. When he was done, I was just beginning to cast on for my second Monkey (yay!), and he came over to me and said we needed to talk. Oh no, I thought. The last time he wanted to talk, something really bad happened
It turns out that he was working up a spread sheet to see where all our money was going. Instead of going up, our bank balance is going down. We couldn't understand it, because we don't have to pay rent (we paid it a year in advance), we have no bills other than utilities, and we don't eat out all that much. So he laid it on me. It turns out that I'm the major culprit (I knew I was), but I almost fell out of my chair when he told me how much I had spent. The figure was close to $4K. Yep. I spent enough to take a vacation on yarn and clubs. I was so shocked that I couldn't fully comprehend what he had just told me.
Once I regained my composure, I told him I wouldn't buy any more yarn and would cancel some of my clubs (heavy, sad sigh). While it's true that I'll never knit all the yarn I have in my stash, I love getting things in the mail. I'm still expecting a few things (yes, I was bad and placed some orders), but when those are delivered, that's it. I'll have to find a less expensive way to bring myself some happiness. I'm not canceling all my clubs, but some of the smaller ones will be going the way of the dodo. This is indeed a sad, sad day. He's right, though. This is another wad of cash that could have gone into the new house fund. I'm such a loser sometimes. I also haven't finished taking pictures of the Lorna's and Opal I'm trying to sell (nobody is buying any of it except for one lovely lady who purchased a fair amount - thank you!).
In happier news, I did write the yarn shop owner a nasty letter. I got a reply from her this morning. It was very short and didn't address most of my points. At the end, she asked me to return the yarn and pattern she had loaned me for the lace class which only three people signed up for (this was several months ago). She also claimed that I have needles from her, which I do NOT remember. It's so liberating to be free of that place, although the money was good. However, I was so exhausted when I got home from class that I would instantly fall asleep. Every time. I think my body was trying to tell me something. So I've burned that bridge and am much happier for it.
Hubster stayed up all night with me last night, since we both had slept all day and woke up just in time for me to get ready for the last class. After he went to bed earlier today, I went into the bathroom to spend some quality time with my crossword puzzle book. I happily took the book out from under the vanity, got my pen, and sat down. And down. AND DOWN. For the first time in years, Hubster had left the seat up and I didn't notice it.
That was bad enough. What was worse is that once my ass hit the water (and you ladies know how cold toilet water is thanks to our husbands and/or SO's), I tried to shoot up like I used to before I trained him to put the seat down. Like I said, I tried. I tried hard. But I wasn't going anywhere. My ass was stuck in the narrow part of the bowl where it narrows down to the little hole (you know that hole - the one that always gets clogged up). So there I dangled with my legs sticking straight out in front of me, my body folded in half (well, as much as it could fold what with my fun bags and belly in the way), and him sound asleep and unable to help me. Oh no. How in the hell was I going to get out of this one?
Pushing upwards didn't help. Grabbing onto the tub and trying to lever myself up didn't help. Yelling didn't help. I couldn't even do my crossword while waiting for help, since I no longer had a lap on which to put the book. I didn't even have any knitting books in there to read (not that I could have reached them). So I lit a smoke and dangled while I pondered what to do next while my ass froze. It was also hard to breathe since my fun bags were compressed against my thighs.
I finally decided to put my feet against the vanity and push as hard as I could while hoping that I didn't rip the toilet out of the floor. I braced my feet, took a deep breath, and pushed. Hard. Too hard. I went catapulting off the porcelain god, whacked my head on the shelf above me, and launched across the room (good thing the room is small). I wound up in a heap on the floor with my legs sticking out straight in front of me (again) and my back against the door. The worst part is that my crossword puzzle book and pen both fell in the toilet, which was flushing as I flew. I must have hit the handle when I was going up and then back down.
Since I now had a clog in that little hole (I told you they always clog), I had to fish the book and pen out. Thank god I hadn't done anything, if you get my drift. Once I got all the disintegrating pages out and managed to snag the pen, I had to plunge to get the rest of the pages down the pipe. So much for that book. It was a good one, too.
I should write a book. Only I'd have to label it as fiction. Nobody would believe it was all true.