If I Were a Painting, I'd Be a Van Gogh

If you don't understand the title of this post, then you're a well-adjusted, well-balanced person whose life is in order, who has a "To Do" list with check marks next to the items which are done, the requisite 2.5 children, two cars in the garage, a house with lots of equity, and no debt (and probably a chicken in every pot).

Your head isn't smeared sideways in bizarre, running colors with a gaping black hole for a mouth. You know the one - "The Scream".

It's like my life is a runaway train and there aren't any depots - or at least none which you want to stop at. Kind of like in "Hostel".

I've got orders coming out of every orifice (a terrific thing, but getting them filled while I'm awake has been a challenge this week), more vendors to add than vendors already listed, so much yarn laying around the house that I'm thinking of stuffing my mattress with it to make it softer (the mattress, not the yarn), and a pair of swap socks which are, as usual, behind schedule. So what did I do yesterday?

I hauled my sick ass out the door and went lunching and yarn shopping with a girlfriend.

It's not as irresponsible as it sounds. In fact, it's restored some of my sanity. The problems began Sunday.

We checked into our usual rathole motel for prison day and found out that they've renamed it, made some of the rooms into suites, and jacked up the price by $25 a night. Huh? The desk clerk said they had upgraded all the rooms; hence, the increase in price. Okay. I was looking forward to sleeping on a mattress which didn't have springs escaping the mattress cover and nailing me right in the ass. It was with this sense of expectation that we opened the door and found... the same shitty mattresses, Hubster's favorite work table gone, dark ugly furniture, no more safe, and a miniature granite bathroom counter. The rest of the room was the same. The same horrid bedspread which didn't match the "decor". The same crappy shower and toilet area. The same little TV which got even less channels than usual. I opened the nightstand drawer and almost tipped the thing over. Oh swell. I tried to get some knitting done, but the light in there was so shitty that I couldn't see what the hell I was doing. Finally, at 2 a.m., I fell asleep. The clock radio went off at 6:00 a.m. to nothing but very loud static. I dragged my ass out of bed and heard a loud POP. Yep... there went my back.

Off I hobbled to the bathroom area. I got ready as quickly as I could (all the while drinking copious amounts of Coke and chain smoking to try and pry my eyes open); late as usual, we headed down to the truck and drove to the prison. No problem there - I had a ride in this time. Good thing, too - I had a large box full of new flutes which the man who started the flute program had made for my boys. The trip inside was completely uneventful, my boys were waiting for me (one of them chided me for not wearing a coat, and another took the box out of my arms), and we trudged along to the chapel.

Since I didn't have the book I wanted to use, I decided to let them familiarize themselves with the new flutes. That took about two hours; then I had an inspiration. I made them each play a love song to me. They stared at me like I was an idiot; then I explained my reasoning to them. The music they played was beautiful, ethereal, haunting - and they were shocked all to shit. Even Kid (my new boy - we'll call him that) played me a song that would have brought tears to anybody. I talked to him after the class, and it just broke my heart - he looks like he should have a paper route somewhere. I asked him if he had played before going down (and not in the fun way), and he said he'd played tenor sax in his high school band. I touched his cheek, and his eyes welled up with tears. That child does NOT belong there. He said he made a bad decision and needed to be punished - yes, he did and yes, he does - but not there. I hope his appeal goes through in his favor.

After class, I got in the truck and don't remember a thing until we got home. I was so exhausted - that session drained me more than any of the others - and it was an effort to get out of the truck. I got inside, sat down, and fell asleep again. I kept trying to stay awake when I'd wake up, but no go. The same was true of Tuesday. Yesterday, I managed to stay awake and have fun while we were out, but then I came home and managed to do very little work before I gave up the ghost again. I've gotten more sleep this week than I've gotten any other time in the past several months. But it's ominous.

It means I'm really sick again, and it's just going to get worse.

So I'm working on orders as fast as I can, both of us will be working on the shop this weekend (Hubster is sick with a flu-like thing), and I might even get some knitting done. Surprisingly, I didn't drop any stitches when I managed to get in five minutes of knitting, nor did I spill coffee on it. These socks are made of Posh, which is a dream to knit with, but I'm a little apprehensive. It isn't as soft as I thought it would be. In fact, many of my merinos are softer, and this has something like 20% cashmere in it, which is why I chose it. The colors are perfect, though - they're exactly what my pal specified.

On the brighter side of things, I've got some exciting vendors about to hit the shop. Hubster will be updating the "Coming Soon" part of the front page (in fact, the whole front page will be updated), I've just ordered some new colors of the Debra's Garden needle sizers, KaratStix has a new product which will hit the shop this weekend (she was the girlfriend I goofed around with yesterday, and she handed me the new thingies), I've now got point protectors in sock needle sizes custom-made by Designs by Tami, and a bunch of other really terrific stuff. I also spoke with Jenny Boully today; she is definitely supplying yarn to the shop. It'll be a while for that one because of all the stuff going on in her personal life (you go, Jenny!), but I don't care how long it takes - she's embarking on an exciting new life, and I couldn't be happier for her. She's even nicer on the phone than in emails, and I didn't think that was possible. I don't know what she'll send, and I don't much care - just to have her yarn is an honor. So you all have that to look forward to. :)

Another thing that's going on is an email I just received telling me that my signature yarn is done! It's on its' way to me as I type, and I think you'll all love it - I know I do! Speaking of siggy yarns, all the people who entered that contest will have their skeins put up for sale when I introduce the winner. All proceeds will go to the ladies who dyed them.

Starting next month, I'll be highlighting a vendor each month. I had wanted to do it this month, but... well, you know. The first vendor I'm highlighting is Karen of KaratStix.

One last thing. One of the emails I got today included a suggestion, and I'm taking her up on it. I am officially announcing the S.A.B.L.E. Sock of the Month club! It's open to 10 people, will cost $70 for six months (three shipments including shipping), and will include brand-new yarn taken from my stash (and you know the kinds of yarn I use). There will also be fun things, really neat swag, and whatever else I dream up. If you'd like to join, please send me an email at pamtheknitter@gmail.com. If I don't reach 10 people by the end of the month, we won't do it, but this is the first of it's kind as far as I know! My thanks to the lady who suggested it (and I'll keep you anonymous unless you tell me otherwise). Our Stitch Marker Club is a no go due to only three people signing up, but we'll try it again later in the year.

I also wanted to mention that Yarny Goodness is proud to be supporting a breast cancer cause. Check out the patterns by Randi K.; some of them are designated for that purpose. YG is picking up the shipping for them.

I think that's it. I'm going to take a break and try to knit. Then I'm going to fry some baloney for a sandwich (you have to be there) and hit the packages again. All orders will have gone out by Saturday. Thank you to those of you who - again - have patiently waited for your items. It's appreciated. :)

At least I can sit on the Monster and knit without worrying about a spring shooting into my snatch.