Wednesday, January 9, 2008

It's a Good Thing I'm Sitting Down, or I'd Fall on My Big Flat Ass

I'm tired. I'm that bone-weary, deep in your soul, if I have to do another damn thing I'll die kind of tired. And yet, if you asked me, I couldn't tell you what I've done today and tonight. I just know that I've been busy nonstop and am ready to collapse. The title of this entry is accurate. If I weren't already sitting in a chair, I'd fall flat on my big ass.

I did manage, however, to take the promised pictures. Here they are!


The gorgeous blue yarn in the background is by High Mountain Llama in "Midnight". Something strange is up with the seller. First, her feedback (which wasn't all that great to begin with) was yanked. Then everything in her shop was yanked. Now she's been yanked. It also took over two weeks for the yarn to get here. I don't know what's going on, but I'm glad I got this skein before she was banished to Etsy prison. The other skein is by Enchanted Knoll in "Gypsy".


These two skeins are by Drooling Over Yarn in "Dark Raspberry Truffle" (this is from her Special Edition Chocolate Series), and "Earthquake".


The incredible skein in the back is by Bizyhands in "Easter Grass" (this one is handspun and contains a whopping 568 yards of fingering weight); the yarn in front is another one by Drooling Over Yarn in "Mint Chocolate Chip" (another of the Chocolate Series). I think of all the yarn of hers which I own, this is my favorite.


These two are by Kangaroo Dyer in "Black Raspberry" and Sunshine Yarns in "Into The Mystic".


Last, but certainly not least, is this gorgeous skein by Fat Cat Knits in "Black Orchid". This one is also a whopper with 500 yards of fingering weight.

Did I not promise you yarny goodness? These have been sitting on my chair for the past several days waiting to be photographed. I just haven't had the time to get around to it. So here I sit at 3:00 a.m., blogging my little weary heart out and thinking that I'll do the Yarn Review tomorrow. I've got to get some knitting done tonight, and I'm beginning to enter panic knitting mode.

As if I didn't have enough things to do, I'm test knitting (and crocheting) for two different people. One is a doily-type object in the round; the other, I have no idea what its' going to be. I should be getting the yarn and pattern in the next two weeks. Maybe by then, things will have calmed down. Ha! Things will never be calm around here again, what with the business ramping up and the recording date of my first CD looming. Shit. I can't even type, I'm so tired. I keep having to backspace over my mistakes and retyping the words. I type 150 wpm on an IBM Selectric with no mistakes, and now I can't even type the word "and" without having to go back and correct it. Somebody shoot me now before I turn into a quivering heap of goop. Oh wait... that vision is just too horrible to think about. Wiggling fat, undulating folds... oh no, I have to switch topics.

This is going to be a very strange post. I can just feel it. Forgive me in advance.

Yesterday was prison day (or maybe I should say Monday... I'm still on Tuesday because I haven't gone to bed yet). Sure enough, my guys were waiting for me at the yard door when I emerged and walked me to the chapel. Dumbshit me, I had left the book I wanted to use with the class in the metal-detector shed, so I had to improvise. We worked on their songs (they each chose a song about four weeks ago and have to learn them, in addition to learning all the notes for each flute key), played duets with each other (not really duets - they played, and I interjected with my flute as I saw fit), and then I had them each play a song to me. It wasn't any old song, but a song they were making up on the fly, speaking to me through their music (I told them to think about what they would like to convey to me, what was in their hearts). After each man played his song, I asked them if they would like to tell me the meaning or keep it private. To a man, they chose to keep it private. However, I guessed what one of the songs meant down to the last detail. It was beautiful - it was all about setting me free. These guys are really concerned with my illness. They always fuss over me, make sure I have a chair to sit in, help me up if I need it - you name it, they do it. I got to see all the inmates on the yard have to sit down because the gun tower officer was going to shoot them in the ass if they didn't. I don't know what the disturbance was, but it was major.

After the lesson, I was just waiting for Bill to come get me so I could get a ride back to the guard shack. Two of my "bodyguards" sat with me and shot the breeze. One of them handed me a Christmas card he had been hanging onto since the holidays, since he didn't go to the party. In it, he had written a message in Apache. I asked him to translate, and even though I don't remember all the words, I remember the gist. It said I was his sister, that he loved and respected me, that he accepted me as a medicine woman, that I was family - things to that effect. It was extremely moving These guys are no longer just sitting there and saying things that aren't personal; now they're really opening up and telling me all kinds of things, from their crimes, to their suicide attempts, to how they feel about being locked up, to any and everything. Then one of them told me that when he was in the sweat lodge the last time, he asked that my pain be transferred to him for a while so I could rest. He said he got really sick for three days right after that and couldn't believe what I live with. It gave him an entire new form of respect for me. It coincided exactly with the time I was sleeping so much. I got rest for the first time in a long time. I couldn't believe that he would do that for me, so I hugged him, kissed him on the cheek, and then cried. It touched me like nothing has touched me in a very long time.

On the business front, everything is coming along beautifully. I lost a few vendors, but I've replaced them with others who I think will do a terrific job. One of them is from Australia. The shipments should start coming in fast and furiously now. I've already received a few yarn packages and some notions. I really have to be careful with the yarn - I want it all for myself. And wait until you see the needle cases! Then there are the... aw geez, it's SO hard for me to keep a secret.. I can't give it away because I want you all to be really surprised. As you read, I now have my business license and am waiting for Alameda County to issue theirs. Since I live in an unincorporated area, there's a special permit I have to have. It was easy, though - I just applied for it online and paid for it via credit card. In the meantime, Hubster is putting the finishing touches on the website, I've got everything I need to finish up my files, the spreadsheet is ready to go, my shipping boxes were delivered by the Yarn Fairy today - in short, once I get the photography done, mark everything with a tag for inventory purposes, and record them - I'll be ready to open the doors. I'll be previewing the website to all of you (I'll list the URL) before I load it with stock. My logo came out incredibly beautiful, and it will go on my website, business cards, stationary, invoices, etc. In a few months, you'll also see it in IK and VK; in addition, I'm advertising on Ravelry and some other online venues. I'm also considering what kind of swag I want to put in every order (you didn't think I would ship out naked orders, did you?). I'm glad I took the time to pay attention to the tiny details. I think they're going to make the business sparkle. I can't wait!

On a personal front, something inside me has broken - I'm bleeding where I shouldn't be. Hubster wanted to take me to the hospital tonight, but I have too much to do. If it continues, then I'll go see my doctor about it. This means that the disease has eaten something it shouldn't have. Sigh. I haven't felt well for the past several days, and tonight, I feel like dog shit. I don't know if it's the blood loss or the activity (probably a combination) that's making me so tired. I'm not sleepy tired; I'm just TIRED. I'm going to knit for a while, and then I'm going to bed. I know that's a novel concept, but I'm going to do it. I'm also going to sleep in as late as I can. Time to piggyback the pills.

So, my dear friends, that's about it for now. I've got other things to tell you, but I'll save those for the next post. I have to have something to talk about! The Yarn Review page will definitely be done tomorrow; it's now 4:00 a.m., and I really want to sit in the Monster and knit for a few hours.

Besides, "People's Court" is TiVo'ed and ready for my enjoyment.


Laura Neal said...

Woman, take care of yourself! Go to sleep and let this stuff sit for a bit, it will be there when you wake up! I know you are so excited about the shop and you have so much to do but sometimes we need to take that extra time for ourselves and just relax.

Martina said...

I'm really worried about you after reading your post, please take some time off and get yourself to the doctors, the shop and us will still be here when your better. Sheryl x

Camille said...

DO NOT USE THAT HIGH MOUNTAIN LLAMA YARN! The seller does not set the dye on her product. Demand a refund immediately. Look on Ravelry on the Lime and Violet message boards for more information. Message me over there if you need help finding all the horrible details, I'm earnknittoownit.

Marin (AntiM) said...

open open open

Yarnbeans said...

OH, Pam that is so cool about your prison guys. Some people forget they are people with feelings. They may have done something bad, but we still have to remember they are people. Please, take care of yourself. I don't pray, but I do send up a "prayer" for you each and every day. I wish for your good health.

Corwink said...

Hi Pam,

I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling well. I am keeping you in my thoughts. I am really excited about your shop BUT like other people have said.....take care of yourself.....the yarn and all of us will still be here when you are done resting. I also wanted to tell you that I LOVED your story about the Apache. I love when things work the way they do.

Be well.


Pam the Yarn Goddess said...

Thank you, everybody. I'm taking a little break from everything and everybody for the afternoon and taking a nap. Then I'm going shopping in a real live store. I'll be back at the grindstone tonight. As for the bleeding, if it doesn't abate by tonight, I'll go to the hospital.

None of this is going to stop me from opening on time. Marin, you don't have to stand in line, sweetcheeks. You may enter the store first.

I love you all. :)

Pam the Yarn Goddess said...

Oh, Camille - she's no longer on Etsy or eBay, and nobody can contact her. I've had Etsy out looking for her, and they can't connect. They'll never let her on there again, they said. So I guess I'll wash the yarn with Synthrapol and vinegar and rinse until the water runs clear. I can't find the message board you told me about - where is it?

SwissKnits! said...

Love the whole post!! Yes, please take care of yourself! Even though I only know you 'virtually' I still worry, especially when I don't see an update in my Bloglines...eeep!!
Love the Apache story too! And am so glad that you rested. I don't know what you are suffering from, but seems to be a horrible and nasty disease... robbing you of so much -YET, you really seem to rock at not letting it steal your wonderful spirit!!
Hugs and Prayers for you my dear!!!

skywitch said...

Pam, are you okay? I'm worried because you haven't're probably just busy, but I hope it's because you're taking good care of yourself and resting.

Jeannette said...

Better watch out for that High Mountain Llama yarn. It was apparently a new incarnation of Mystical Creation Yarns that have screwed over a lot of folks including myself. Better check it for color fastness before you labor over some beautiful knitted item to find out the color all runs off!!