Knitting Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

The Yarn Fairy cometh. Or would that be cameth?



Sweeping from left to right are yarns from Halftone, who is a new indie for me. I found her on Etsy. The prices were incredible and the colorways intriguing. I had to have some. She didn't name the colors, but they're all superwash merino with the exception of the semi-solid green (merino/silk). The put-ups are incredible (462 yds. for the merino, 440 yds. for the blend). When I took them out of their protective baggies, I couldn't believe it. I was swooning. If you haven't tried this seller, you simply must. Her yarn is so soft, it's orgasmic. I could have sat there all day just squeezing and fondling and rubbing and petting and... and... excuse me for a minute.

That's better.

The other two skeins are from Woolly Boully. One is Red Robin and the other Luna Moth. I just love Jenny's yarns. They're soft, squishy, beautifully colored, and a pure delight to knit with. I'm using one of her yarns right now to knit something special, and I can't put it down. She is the sweetest lady in the world, and I love her to death. You simply must patronize her, too - she's a college gal and is paying New York rents. Help her out if you can.

As you know, we went to the boringball... uh... baseball game yesterday. I e-mailed with another lady who was there, and she was similarly disappointed with the cheapness of the gift. In fact, she's so outraged that she's writing a letter to the dude in charge of this stuff. I asked her to forward the letter to me so I can add my two cents' worth. At the price of those tickets, you'd think they could put a pattern in there or something. Oh wait - the buckets are too small for a pattern. Maybe a tape measure, some stitch markers, an A's patch? Anything? She told me that the Giants at least gave out knitting bags at their game, and that she bought her tickets at Article Pract, who at least gave her a tape measure. Never again. Especially after they got over a bill for clothing and food. Fuckers.

Some good news on the vacation front. Hubster discovered that the rooms which I had booked were NOT the only rooms available. When I talked to the reservation lady, she quoted me the prices on the most expensive rooms they had. I assumed that they were the only rooms available. Turns out that they had a shitload of other, much cheaper rooms. So we got a room for half the price, and here's the kicker. It has all the same amenities of the more expensive room. The only difference is that the more expensive room was on the executive floor and had a private cocktail lounge (I can't drink because of the meds), a continental breakfast (we don't eat breakfast), and a paper delivered to your door (we never read the damn things). A total waste. So instead of paying almost $2K, we're paying $800. Totally doable and already paid for. Now I don't have to destash! Actually, I do, because I told Hubster I would, but the point is that I don't have to break my neck trying to get rid of yarn. He's in the room right now, throwing away garbage, unpacking flutes (I have to practice - the concert is a month away), and making a space for me to open the bins and inventory what yarn is going. I won't know what to do with myself.

Now for the title of the post.

I slept a lot last night (as I stated in my last entry), woke up early, and began to knit while I watched my TIVO'ed stuff. I thought I was wide awake, like I usually do. I wasn't. I fell asleep sometime around 8:00 a.m. I knew that Hubster wanted to get up around 10:30, so I figured that I would make sure he got up.

No such luck. I woke up at 11:30, called down the hall for him, and realized that my face was squished sideways against the arm of the Monster. And there was something else wrong, too.

I had been knitting with DPN's last night, working on my Monkey Socks. I also have a nasty habit of losing the spare needle (since I'm knitting with four, that makes the fifth needle the roaming one). I didn't lose it this time. In fact, it was near me. Very near me. Up close and personal near me.

I felt something strange and swiped at my face. Now remember that I was still half-asleep and wasn't with it yet. But something wasn't right, and I swiped at my face again. Then it hit me.

My spare needle was crammed up my nose.

As bad as my eyesight is getting, I still could see it dangling there. My $15 a set Addi Natura spare needle was shoved WAY up my left nostril. It was so comical that for a minute, I didn't even think to pull it out. But then I realized that if Hubster saw it, he would most certainly take a picture and post it somewhere.

So very carefully, I laid down my knitting (which was still clutched in my right hand - no stitches dropped, thank goodness), and grasped the end of the needle. After what seemed like forever, I finally got it pulled free.

I've had a huge cotton swab soaked in lidocaine shoved up my nose before (up into the eye socket, in fact), so it didn't hurt. What I was worried about was the needle. Was it going to be covered with rubbery snot balls? Was it going to have blood on it? Had I ruined my needle, thereby necessitating a trip to my LYS? No. The needle was just fine. I washed it carefully and made sure that it was gleaming, and then put a coat of wax on it to make sure that nothing horrible was going to touch my yarn. I now have the cleanest, fastest bamboo needle in the Western Hemisphere.

That bag of dope sure would have helped.

Extra note: I just got a call from the chaplain at Folsom Prison. They want me to come teach a regular Native American flute class to the convicts. How cool is that? They're doing a clearance for me right now, so maybe I'll be there as soon as next week. I LOVE this shit!

Maybe the bag of dope isn't such a good idea after all.