So there I was, minding my own business, when a baby English Bulldog dropped into my lap. I tried to download a picture of her, but I can’t figure this fucking thing out. It’s all I can do to type on it...
Anyway, I paid the shipping on her last night, so she’ll be delivered to my door in a couple of weeks. Come to find out, the airlines will no longer fly dogs in the cabin unless they’re trained service dogs (not those fake ones where you can buy the vests on Amazon), and they won’t allow any bullie breed (as well as a long list of others), in cargo. Since that wasn’t an option, I was thinking I’d have to drive down to Dallas to pick her up - a two-day journey - and then back home. Not optimal - she’d be in a crate for a long drive with at least one stop overnight, I’d have to try and keep her cool, and pay for gas, lodging, food, incidentals - not to mention the wear and tear on me, her, and the car. She’ll be arriving via a transport service which drives straight through, has two ladies who take turns driving, sleep on a cot in the back with the puppies they’re delivering, let them out to play, take them potty, and never leave them alone. All I have to do is get off my Jabba the Hut ass and answer the door. Perfect!
It’s been one of those days I can’t wait to see disappear. First, the pool filter exploded. Now the pool guy has to talk my landlady into putting in a new one, since I’m not responsible for the equipment. Then I found out that bitch next door trespassed in my backyard to get a football. Of course, the cops will no longer trespass someone - it’s considered a civil matter unless it’s criminal trespass - so I have to take steps, the first of which is arriving tomorrow via Amazon. Come tomorrow afternoon, there will be a huge, “NO TRESPASSING - VIOLATERS WILL BE PROSECUTED” sign which also has a space for you to write on. I’m going to put her name and family. Being considered due notice, if I can catch her or any of them walking in my yard, THEN I can call the cops - if I can get one to leave the donuts for a few minutes to come deliver the news. I’m a bit apprehensive about it - being the batshit bitch she is, that would spark yet more retaliation and threats. I almost bought the sign which said something like, “MY DOG CARRIES A GUN AND WON’T TAKE HIS MEDICATION”, but I thought I’d better stick to something which wasn’t funny and to the point. Even putting it up is going to righteously piss her off. If I didn’t have my babies, I’d just load the gun, walk in her yard, beat the shit out of her, and shoot her in the kneecap. Not that getting three hots and a cot would bother me, but I do have to take care of the kids, and I don’t think they allow doggie visits in the joint.
So now I’m hot and tired, so I took a bunch of pain meds and Valium and will likely piss away another evening. I’ve got spinning to do, so I might work on that - or I might watch Live PD and doze off. No matter - as long as I don’t pick up either crocheting or knitting where I have to pay attention and count stitches, it’ll be fine. No matter what, the sun is dropping, the temps will be dropping, and tomorrow is a new day.
Now all I have to do is find my Sharpie to write on the sign...
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